-Evening Sun- Book 1, Chapter 10 : Define
Saturday, February 5, 2011@12:36 AM
Book 1: Renesmee
Chapter 10: Define
I stood at the glass window, staring out, thinking about things that I should not. Not that I was not allowed to, it was just needless, I did not need to think about it. I had read a story, about a journey of struggles, to force one-self to get back on the right path. Daniella, the author, her life was perfect, starring in East Enders, the soap, until Cocaine, in which she called Coke, it had its hooks so deep inside her, she was living in a world where friends were strangers, money was harsh, and great sacrifices weighed on her shoulders as she tried to protect the lives that were hanging on the thread from the pits of starvation. She tried to support two lives, her son Kai’s and her own. Eventually, she had to face painful reality, the life that Cocaine had helped her realize but.
I imagined, how helpless she would have felt, when she had to use her own hands to dial the number, to use her own voice to tell social services that they had to take care of her son, and with her very own eyes, watch him leave with lost faith, lost hope, lost affection in his harsh, cold eyes as he stared at her, furious, and upset. “You promised!” He’d scream, but the only words she could tell him were “I’m sorry.” As I thought of how it felt, being in Daniella’s shoes, I cried. The book in my palm I clutched tightly.
“Renesmee? Renesmee! Oh dear! Why are you crying?” Alice called softly, and pulled me to her room. As I went up the stairs, I saw my father standing near the foot of the second flight of stairs to the third level. He was smiling to himself the crooked smile that my mother had always admired.
“After all these years, and you still think so much, silly girl.” He laughed, and patted my shoulder.
“I can’t help it! I’m just sensitive, okay?” I sobbed, in a tone of disagreement.
“Edward!” Alice glared at my father, and he walked down the stairs to find my mother.
Alice sat down on her bed, and told me to sit down too.
“Why were you crying? Did that mutt make you cry?” She cleaned my tears, but when she threw the next question, her strength acting on my cheekbone was shatteringly painful.
“Ouch.” I said quickly, and softly.
“Oh! I’m sorry!”
“Never mind. Alice?”
“Yes?”
“Have you ever felt so helpless before, like there was rivalry between you and life, and you were losing. When everything was being taken away from you, your career, your money, your luxury, your child, your… life. Have you?”
“Yes, I have.” Alice’s concerned glance shifted from me to the floor. I was hesitant to ask her when that was, but she answered the silent question on her own accord.
“I was kept for a century in the asylum. I was James’ personal brand of heroin, my blood, when I was human. That was what happened to Edward and Bella, but James had no intention of keeping me alive, to marry me. He didn’t want me, he only wanted my blood.” She explained with disgust.
“An old vampire, Damon, he had the ability to sense threat in everyone, despite of form and species, human, vampire, shape-shifter, half species, he could sense them all. That ability was paired with another ability, to read minds. He warned me about James, but James was coming too fast, and even if I could escape, he would be able to find me through the smell of my blood, as he was a tracker.
“So, Damon changed me into a vampire. As I stared into his liquid-topaz eyes, which were hesitant and full of doubt, he stared into my human eyes for the last time, then the agonizing pain, horrifyingly blinding and deafening, took its effect. It was so painful, it felt worser than death. I slipped deeper into the darkness, away from reality which was painful, underneath the blankets of pain it was numbness, relief. I liked it that way; I wished I didn’t need to wake up. ‘I hope you survive this.’ Damon told me as I was slipping into the dream. The last I saw through my human eyes was Damon leaving. Well, after my change, James killed Damon, but he never found me.
“I was kept in the asylum for having premonitions when I was human, and stayed there until some other vampire whose name I do not know, helped me out. I saw that.”
“So, your abilities are from your ability to have premonitions when you were human?” I wondered.
“Yes. That is what I think.”
What happened to James then? Would he still be alive and finding her? He is a vampire; he has indefinite life span like us. That question was answered by my father.
“Years ago, when Bella was still human, we had met James and his company while we were playing baseball. The sound of the bat at clash would need a thunderstorm to cover, and there was a thunderstorm that day. James caught her sense and tracked her all the way to where she was, as he saw through our tricks, trying to lead him to the opposite direction from where Bella was going. He caught her anyway, by lying that he had her mother. We killed him there. Bella was lucky that we got there in time.” My father leaned on the arch of the door.
“Edward?” My mother called from down the stairs. My father left us to talk.
“Back to the question. I was helpless when I was kept in the asylum, when I was human. My happiness back then was just snatched away because of having premonitions!” She gritted her teeth, and her fists were clenched tightly.
“Then what happened when you got out?”
“I saw that Jasper was coming. I went to the diner where I saw myself and him meet, and I waited for him there.” She smiled.
“Yeah and eventually I did come. How could I miss the chance of meeting my one true love of my life?” Jasper hugged Alice and carried her off the ground, then kissed her forehead.
Jasper’s words were like answers to questions that many people would not understand. Define love. Why did my mother keep me although I was killing her? Because she loved me. Love was why we fall down and get back up again; it was worth the pain, as long as you were able to be with a loved one. Why was Daniella only able to say “I’m sorry.” when her son screamed at her? Because she loved him. It was a sacrifice either one of them had to take. She did not want Kai to make that sacrifice and live with a mother that was a bad influence by taking drugs, so instead, she made the sacrifice and had to watch her son leave and blame her so coldly, as he did not understand her intention. That was love.
“What are you thinking about?” Jacob scared me, as I was deep in thought when he whispered in my ear. I jumped.
“Sensible souls.” I smiled.
“Dumb it down a little, please?” He snorted.
“Just love.” And he placed his arms around my waist, then kissing me.
I wished this love could last forever, but there was bound to be a day that one of us has to make the sacrifice. But it was never him, is not him and would never be him. It would be me. One day, I would have to make a sacrifice to save him from something or somewhere. I wondered how long this love would be able to last. I just hope that it would last long enough.
Guess what, you've officially reached the end point of Book 1! Stay with me as Book 2 of Evening Sun will be coming out soon!
